About me

 

I have always been fascinated about human interaction and in particular - close & intimate relationships people have. I have worked in high end matchmaking in the UK for over 12 years, having learned a lot about how majority of us are conditioned to relate to dating and relationships. I now run my own Coaching business. I am dedicated to the cause of helping people achieve healthier, more positive and true to themselves relationship results.

I am particularly interested in opening up conversations about how we can relate to dating, relationships and sex in a new, more open and equal manner, so that we can realise our individual potential in relationships, instead of trying to fit under the same label as everyone else, often losing our identity in the process.

I thrive on having an ongoing dialogue about topics related to dating, intimacy, sex, self-love and relationships. I work with my clients on one to one coaching capacity and I also run regular Brunch Date Workshops for curiously-minded people who want to develop their understanding about themselves, relationships and sex.

 


 

​Here's a little more personal story about me and my journey:

 

 

When I was growing up, the model for relationships was my parents’, like it is for most of us. Whilst my parents tried their best, no doubt, they were certainly not equipped with the most necessary tools to make a healthy, happy and stable relationship. They worked with what they had, following their parents’ example – and learning about emotional intelligence wasn’t really an option back then. I learned from quite a young age that a ‘marriage’ was when two people decided to live together, to have kids – man in charge, woman doing all the housework – and that was about it. The relationship was very much based on ‘I give, so I can get’ and ‘I’ll tell you what you need do to make me happy’. There was no real affection or love being expressed. So I spent my youth replicating that type of pattern in my early relationships - very needy, attached, clingy and very much in the style of ‘I own you, you own me’.

 

Deep inside, it didn’t feel right. When I was older, having started observing other types of relationships around me, I started wondering if what I had learned was actually that helpful. On a more positive note, and because I do love my parents – they taught me about kindness, and the importance of a family, how to share, a good work ethic and the importance of education & knowledge.

It’s very difficult to change learned conditioning and patterns unless you a) become aware of it and b) decide to do something about it. For many years, I chose to ignore the pattern that seemed to repeat my own relationships – and after either running away or being left behind, I spent few years on my own exploring (and not always being good to myself) and slowly  starting to work on myself through buddhist philosophy, yoga practice and learning about relationship psychology. As I was living in London and the differences between dating and relationship styles were noticable to my home country and the Nordic region in general I started also incorporating that Nordic openess, equality and straightforwardness into my life. My career as a Matchmaker meant I was certainly not able to stay away from the topic! Whilst I was learning a great deal on the job I also wanted to have more in-depth learning so I decided to have training in Counselling, Personal Performance Coaching and of course, Date Coaching.

 

During my years working in traditional Matchmaking,  I have learned that the very quest for 'I want to find a relationship' based on outdated and ownership-ruled dating & relationship model can be a huge obstacle if you haven’t done the work on yourself first – and learned to be comfortable just by yourself.

 

This is exactly what I want to convey in my coaching, the importance on working on yourself before you start searching for a partner to share your life with. I am looking forward to helping you with that.

Namaste

​© 2018 Miia Koponen