• Miia

Best tip for New Year Resolutions

Have you begun your annual 'New year, New me' ritual yet? Or maybe you have already given up on those...? Studies show that new year resolutions aren't particularly effective and often fall through by mid-February.

So, we all still want to improve our lives, don't we? How can we do so? The answer is: Acceptance. What I mean by this is that before you start making any amendments in your life you need to accept where and who you are right now.

When it comes to dating, this can manifest in the following way: You make a resolution to find a partner for yourself this year. There's one important question to ask yourself before you embark on this journey:

How content and at peace you are with your life right now?

If the answer to this is 'I'm not content or at peace because I'm single' then finding a partner as your goal for this year is probably not the best option! Let me explain - if you're unhappy being single you will be unhappy being in a relationship. Partner and/or relationship can't solve your issues in life. They can of course help you on that journey but if you enter the search of a partner thinking it needs to 'fill a void' in your life it doesn't often lead to happy, healthy and lasting relationships. How do I know this? I have been there a couple of times myself! I have also worked with clients with this mindset and with my help, they have firstly turned their own life around before ended up finding a relationship or life situation they actually want.

The more you 'pursue' to find a relationship the less likely a healthy and happy one is going to appear. My advice on that is to take a pause from dating for a moment, and instead, concentrate on what's happening inside of You - make that inner journey the journey that matters, not the one where you think what kind of person will make You happy - make that happiness a place You are able to reach by yourself first.


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