• Miia

How do you define successful Love?

Updated: May 14, 2020

Today I wanted to share my own personal “win” in Love and Relationships. By far the biggest win for me has been when I learned to let go of the mainstream narrative of the idea what a romantic relationship should look like.

The idea that relationships should fit in one square shaped box, that in order for a relationship to be good, accepted or indeed happy it needed to look a certain way. In particular the notion that relationships need to mean “forever” or the notion of “the one” or “attachment=love”.

For me letting go of those notions has meant more freedom, lightness and peace in myself and my relationships.

That love actually isn`t about ownership or attachment but about freedom and letting go.

That win created a whole new kind of future for me and my relationships.

The backstory:

About 5 years ago I was in a relationship and so attached to the idea of having to be in one that after a break-up I went back to him, just so that I didn't need to go to a friend`s wedding in Barcelona, alone, as a single woman. The thought, being seen as alone and single at a wedding, terrified me more than the idea of being in an unhappy relationship.

I was entangled in the notion that if I was in a relationship, I was somehow better off, more accepted and happier, at least in terms of how others saw me.

After this relationship ended (shortly after Barcelona trip) I was confused, sad and felt like a failure. Another relationship that didn't work out for me. What was wrong with me?

Turns out, nothing was wrong with me but the way I was approaching relationships and the idea of them.

That's when I started my journey of understanding more about:

  1. What kind of relationship I had with myself and how I was able to improve it.

  2. What kind of relationships I had with others - romantic, friendly, intimate - and how I was able to improve them.

That journey has taken me to many interesting places and allowed me to meet many beautiful people. I have opened up to different kind of possibilities instead of trying to always have the same outcome.

It has also meant letting go of some old relationships/friendships that were not aligned with the new approach and way of looking at things.

Amazing things can open up when you learn to let go of what “should” happen.

How do you define success and a win in Love and Relationships?

If you want to to have a chat and find out how I can help you discover your own definition of Love, here´s a link to booking a free call with me.

Namaste and happy Loving!

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