• Miia

How real couples are handling distance during Covid-19

Updated: May 4, 2020

I am sure many of you are thinking “how can I maintain my existing connections when I can´t physically see, touch and be with them?” It is one of the most asked questions people have in their minds right now.

I have some ideas on how to do that, having helped many daters on their quest for love and intimacy. But I tell you who are the most qualified to advise you on this: couples who are in long-distance relationships. So I interviewed two such couples and here you have the results:

Couple 1 - He is in Barcelona, She is in Stockholm

They first met when they both lived in same city and then work took him away elsewhere.

Most of their relationship has been spent apart from each other so they have learned ways to maintain passion, interest and communication and here is how:

Here are their top 3 tips:

  1. Good communication and regular contact. It's easy to misread text messages so phone and video calls are better when discussing "serious" matters.

  2. Positive attitude and knowing this situation won't last forever. This too shall pass :)

  3. Balance. Continuing with your regular life (as much as you can at the moment) and not putting all your energy on the relationship or your life on hold until you'll be together again.

Couple 2 - They both are based in Washington DC, but both travel regularly for work and they spend 2 weeks together, 3 weeks apart.

These 2 gentlemen first met on a flight from London to Madrid, 8 years ago, they were seated together and well, the rest is history, now they have been married for 6 years!

Here are their top 3 tips:

  1. Daily contact, they have spoken every day since they have met , 8 years ago, most on facetime. They say it´s really important to be respectful of each others time, agree on time when you sit down and make the effort to ´show up`

  2. Sometimes facetime turns into an intimate video which is absolutely fantastic! It's a way to maintain sexual spark.

  3. They take turns choosing a book, they both read it and during their next call discuss chapters. They also choose specific Netflix shows to discuss and compare notes about.

So, there you have some real life advice from couples who have experienced the separation before it became mandatory for many.

I would personally add to the above the following:

  1. Set time for yourself - reflecting on your own life, decisions you´ve made and people you’ve met can build a whole new way of looking at life ahead beyond the pandemic.

  2. Ask meaningful questions from your date, lover, partner - it´s easy to get stuck in the same old safe topics when you´re chatting but now you have an amazing opportunity to open up different kind of conversations, in the safety of your own space.

  3. Keep it light and fun! Important to keep things light during these moodier times, watch a comedy show together (remotely), play a game or find something else that you know will tickle the other persons´ funny bone.

That´s it for now, stay safe, 21st century thinkers, daters and lovers!

Are you feeling a bit lost or need help with finding ways to communicate with your partner or lover? I would love to help! Send me a message and let’s find ways to make you feel better in this situation.

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