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Why self-love is important when you’re single


You have probably heard many inspirational people and even your friends talking about the importance of “loving yourself” and to “be more confident in what you do”. This seems logical and it all makes sense but you are not quite sure what it exactly means in practice, like how do you Love Yourself, isn't having the occasional bubble bath, massage and “me-time” enough?


I guess it comes down to what Love actually means for you. We are very conditioned to think Love only as a romantic, attachment-based concept that you “get” when you find “the one”. So how would it apply to loving yourself?

The key is in being able to let go of the idea that Love somehow means external validation or something you get from doing something or meeting someone, that it is something you only “get” from outside of yourself.

When we are able to find acceptance of who we are right now in our lives, without getting tangled up to ideas of where or who we should be, in my opinion, is true kind of Self-Love. That we accept our choices we have made so far in our lives and that is how we have got to where we are right now.

From that place of acceptance it is way easier to start making changes and reaching out to new situations, people, relationships, than from a place of “my life sucks and I wish I had a partner”.

Another aspect to Self-Love of course is the physical kind! Often stigmatised with shame, judgement and disapproving eyes of conformity this area of our lives deserves more attention and nurture.

By learning more about physical self-love we again become much more stronger and independent in our own desires and what we want out of intimate side of relationships. So rather than approaching dating and relationships from the position of “I will just go with what I´m supposed to do/be as a woman/man when it comes to sex” you will gain so much more by first learning what you like and what you don't like, through the exercise of physical self-love. Feeling confident in dating. Relationships and intimacy goes hand in hand with a healthy self-love practice. Working with a coach can help you begin that practise. I often see how people are struggling to fit into the expectations of what they think they should fit into vs what they might actually want.

I was dealing with the same questions and the same topic and I was unhappy. After figuring out what works for me, I now help other people find their confidence in dating, love, relationships and intimacy.

I would love to hear your thoughts about self-love, so feel free to leave a comment or question here, my Facebook or Instagram or book your free call with me to discuss things in more detail.

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​© 2020 Miia Koponen